I often come across wedding videos, photos and reel where the bride and groom meet before the wedding ceremony, having fun or of posts where they say that the couple has decided to let go of certain rituals, like kanyadaan. Or changing some things like putting vermilion on men. Though the posts and reels are sweet, the comments underneath are often disheartening.
Some of the comments are like –
- “Why don’t they just have a court marriage?”
- “Seems like getting married only for Instagram”
- “Why can’t they follow all the rituals when they plan to have a traditional wedding ceremony?”
This cultural shifts aren’t just in traditional weddings of any religion, but even outside the religion and weddings. Like acceptance of LGBTQIA + community, even if its slow and more so in tier-1 cities as of now.
The thing is- change is inevitable. And this inevitable changes also affects culture, be it religious rituals or culture outside any religion (like of a state or country).
With time, culture will change. People will tweak it as per their convenience, beliefs, liking and the time they are living in. The culture in India which was in 1980s will not stay the same in 2022. Just say, back then, the marriage would happen within caste and religion most of the time, or very less courtship period. But now, inter-faith marriages are getting more common and there are months-long or even year-long courtship periods for 2 people to know each other before they tie the knot.
As of court marriage, very few people can come inside the courtroom and not 50s and 100s. So why would the families even invite 100s of people if they can’t witness the wedding (even though most people attend weddings for free food ??)? And umm, no rational person will commit to a life-long relationship for some social media posts.
When one has strong beliefs in their culture or rituals, a change by someone else shouldn’t collapse one’s belief system.
Outside the religion domain, culture changes as well. Like acceptance of live-in relationships, PDA or LGBTQIA + community, atleast in tier-1 Indian cities like Mumbai, Delhi and Bangalore, which was frowned upon even a decade back. Also the slow acceptance of even males wearing tops and skirts, makeup, showing their emotions, or participating in activities traditionally seen as ‘feminine’.
When it comes to some cultural changes, outside the religious domain, there are many things that even I don’t agree with or in favor of. But the change is gonna happen, and as long as I’m not forced (or anyone else isn’t forced), I don’t bother much.
In my opinion, as long as one isn’t forced to change their beliefs and culture, it’s okay and shouldn’t be affecting anyone if someone else chooses to do otherwise. Cause the change, even in cultures, rituals and society, is gonna be inevitable, no matter how much one resists the change.
Views expressed above are the author’s own.
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